I’ve been reading Present Over Perfect which speaks about being still and finding the small moments of your life to really live.
Oh, lordy how I need more of this in my life!
Today, when I was at the park, I sat still. I watched my two little boys run and laugh and jump and fall and just PLAY. I didn’t check my email, I didn’t eat my snacks. I simply sat. And breathed.
Wow, what breathing can do to change your mentality. Those Yogi’s know what’s up.
Now, this amazing moment came the day after I practically lost my mind. The amount of yelling and screaming and whining and utter chaos that consumed the day made me so frustrated. And the fact that I was getting frustrated with my children for simply being children and needing me made me even more upset. I signed up to be a parent. I signed up to feed them and bathe them and listen to their bizarre stories, didn’t I?
So why can’t I just enjoy it?
I think it’s because I’ve lost my ability to simply be in the moment. To sit my butt down and be still. Try it. It’s harder than it seems.
I realize that having littles makes any amount of being still nearly impossible. But, today as I was sitting on the bench watching them play I consciously told myself to soak it in. Just be.
And it was lovely.
The moments following my stillness were peaceful. I felt like I was actually engaged. Soaking in every bit. As much as I could.
I need to get back to the quiet. I’m trying to find quiet moments in my day and recognize them for what they are. I so often feel the need to fill my mind, my house, my space with noise, music, laughing, chattering, background something – and I don’t know why I do it to myself.
Am I afraid of the quiet moments? Am I afraid to really be still?
I think I’ve just been trained to be doing, doing, doing. And doing isn’t wrong. It’s doing for the sake of doing that makes me miss my moments.
I blame my iPhone. And my need to be updated on everything. My job requires social media attention and I find it so hard to put it away. To take steps back. To disconnect.
Letting myself be present over being perfect. I’m working on it. I’m trying to find joy in the small moments of each day.
It’s not easy. It requires me to actually think before I act. But I’m trying. I’ll always be a work in progress, but at least I know it, so that’s a step, right?