Ignorance Is Bliss?
My son was born in June 2014. Everything was *amazing*. We couldn’t ask for anything more. We thought, “Should we try for another one?” Thus, we resolved that we did want more kids, that we weren’t getting any younger and we thought that having kids close in age would be awesome.
So… bow-chick-a-wow-wow… we got pregnant.
Crap! Isn’t it supposed to take longer than this?! And then the bomb dropped.
By the way, you’re having twins
Are we really going to have twins 15 months after our first? Yes, yes we are. Yes, yes I did.
It’s Only Just Begun…
Our identical twin boys are now one. Our oldest is two. I survived my first year as a MOM (mother of multiples) + toddler. Whew! To say it was hard would be grossly inaccurate. It has been a daily struggle.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I barely remember the first 3 months. Truly. It’s a complete blur, just little snippets here and there. What I can recall includes lots of feeding, diaper changes, and very little sleep. As in minutes in any given 24 hour period, rather than hours–and that’s about it.
I remember my oldest wanting more “mommy time” and me living off protein bars and water for a while (because let’s face it when given the chance to spend time eating versus sleeping during those early months, sleep will always prevail).
I was constantly being told, “Don’t worry, it’ll get better,” and, “Hang in there, this is just temporary.” Sure, sage advice. I told myself that if I am able to make it through this first year alive with healthy, happy children, an intact marriage and a modicum of sanity– I can tackle anything.
What I’ve Learned
Well, I am happy to report I have three happy and healthy children, a strong marriage and just a teensy bit of sanity remaining. Yet, at the end of the day, as all mommies do, I ruminate: I wish I could have spent more one-on-one time with my kids, am I reading enough to the twins?
And of course the billion other could’ve/would’ve/should’ves. Then, I try to remind myself that I am only human. I make mistakes and judgment calls and do what I need to do to survive at times, not necessarily what the optimal/perfect scenario would have been.
And I accept that; that’s how I SURVIVED this first year.
It absolutely involved lots of tears, love, very little sleep, willpower, a sense of humor, and lots of grace. BUCKETS and BUCKETS of grace. For myself. For my spouse. For my children. For my family. For everything, I thought I could control, but really couldn’t. That’s what I have learned from my first year of MOMmyhood.