Wanna know how your parenting stacks up against others? Take this quiz and find out if you are a bad mom!
1. Have you ever:
B) Fed your family a meal made from a box? Or from the freezer section? Or purchased at a drive thru?
C) Finished the rest of your child’s leftover birthday cake that they asked you to save for later?
2. Do you sometimes imagine what your life would be like without kids? (Answer honestly, we won’t tell)
3. When you’re at the playground and see another parent struggling with their child’s bad behavior, do you:
A) Discretely watch the whole thing because you need tips on how to handle these sorts of situations?
B) Think smug thoughts to yourself about how you’d handle it way better?
C) Not even notice because you’re too busy trying to get your kid to stop eating sand?
4. If you see a movie/tv show where a young couple is earnestly celebrating getting pregnant for the first time do you say to yourself, “Oh, just you wait!” and then laugh out loud like a Disney villain?
5. Are you currently – or have you ever been – pretending to be using the bathroom just to have a few minutes all to yourself?
6. Did you skip a shower today? Yesterday too?
7. Have you ever started talking to a stranger and then realize you forgot to brush your teeth this morning? And the way you realized this is because you could tell from look on their face that they were smelling your dragon breath?
8. Is eating the leftovers off your child’s plate in a restaurant a totally acceptable meal by your standards?
9. If you’re a working mom, do you sometimes raise your hand for assignments that require travel just so you can have a night to yourself, even if it’s at the EconoLodge in Topeka?
10. Answer yes to any of the following that apply to you:
A) My children have had way more screen time than I ever thought they would.
B) The last time I bought a nice piece of furniture for my home was before our firstborn, because they’re going to ruin everything anyway.
C) With the exception of my Lularoe collection, everything in my closet is either from my pre-baby years so no longer fits me OR maternity wear…and it’s been over a year since I was last pregnant.
D) Ok I admit it. I’m taking this quiz while pretending to use the bathroom just so I can have a few minutes to myself.
Ready for the quiz results???
If you replied NO to every question, congratulations! You are a magical angel. Mary Poppins took parenting lessons from you. Gwyneth started GOOP to compete with your awesomeness. The Dalai Lama meditates every day on ways to attain your level of enlightenment. Chuck Norris wishes YOU were behind his beard instead of another fist.
If you replied YES to 1 or more of the questions, guess what?? You are STILL not a bad mom! You are a normal mom! Stop beating yourself up over the ways in which you’re not the perfect parent. There is no handbook. We are all figuring this out as we go along.
Still not convinced? Then maybe you’ll believe it when it’s coming from Ryan Gosling: